kryptonite

My sponsor asked me to write a list of everything I am powerless over and why. That's the easy part.
Practicing it is harder, I have to continuously remind myself every moment that I am powerless. It's humbling and empowering at the same time. I struggle with being powerless over others, I don't want to control them, I just want to help them, I don't want anyone to feel pain. But then that is me not giving them the right to feel, to work through it, and become stronger. I need to feel my own pain in order to get better, and so do they. I am Lauren, not superman... All I can do is lend an ear when they need to be heard, and offer a hug when they need to be held. This is frustrating at times, but I'm okay with it today. I have gone most of my life trying to "fix" things the way I thought was "right", when really I should have just been patient with the way they were going. I cant save my mom, I cant save my friends, all I can do is try to save myself.